Semi-Charmed Life

Georges St-Pierre and BJJ

I just got back into the flow of things this week by attending my bjj class after a two week hiatus. Now I know I wrote in a previous post that I don't have any idols, but I was star struck when I saw Georges St-Pierre at my gym last night. I caught him a little too late though. I didn't even notice he was there until a friend of mine asked me if I saw him. Him who? "GSP!" he said. I rushed outside to the lobby area to take a look, but I was already dressed in my gi on the mats and he was on his way out, so there was no point in bothering him.

As luck would have it, I saw him again today. This time he was in the middle of training so I didn't want to disturb him. By the time he finished up though, my class already started and I wasn't able to talk to him. In hindsight, I was an idiot for choosing to go to class instead of waiting for him to finish up. I could have easily taken the next class which was in an hour. I missed my opportunity to talk to one of the few people I admire. More than that, I wanted a freaking picture with him! This would have been the one and only time in my life where I found a use for my camera phone.

I wouldn't call him an idol. Mancrush maybe? Whatever. I hope I see him at my gym again this week.

Anyway, the two week break was brutal. I felt like a fat slob out there on the mats and completely out of shape. I think I'm beginning to lose motivation. A lot of times it just feels like I am not getting anywhere. Some days I do ok and some days I get completely annihilated in class. I wish I could have one of those epiphanies where everything just clicks and makes sense. I hear other people get that, but it's just not coming. It also feels overwhelming at times with the amount of moves we learn in class. I don't feel like I'm absorbing everything.

I still feel great after every class, but I'm beginning to dread going. It almost feels like a chore. Maybe the novelty has worn off so it feels less fun. It also might be because it is a combat sport, there will be winners and there will be losers every time you spar. It's unhealthy to have that mentality that winning is everything, which I don't really have. But when you consistently "lose" in class, it is a hit to the ego. A bad performance on my part is getting submitted a dozen times. A good performance thus far is the equivalent of survival. I do well enough to survive, but I don't feel like I am putting up a good fight.

I guess that's the difference between bjj and snowboarding for me. There is no real adversary in snowboarding other than yourself. I didn't believe it when I read on some forums that many people quit brazilian jiu jitsu because of ego. Because they were tired of losing. But I can now see first hand how that could happen.

Must persevere.