Semi-Charmed Life

Conversation Topics . . . or Not.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I hate talking about work. Whenever someone asks me what I do, I tell them something vague. I can't say finance, because that gives people the impression that I'm making that paper. What I usually end up doing is telling people I do operations at Company ABC, and then if they inquire further I'll go and tell them that I'm in International Stock Loan. Securities lending is probably the most obscure yet mundane things in the finance world, so I'm not exactly thrilled to discuss it with other people.

You'd figure that I would probably enjoy talking about my hobbies then, but oddly enough, I don't. Not for lack of enthusiasm really, but it's just that I don't think there's much to talk about. I have friends who can talk forever about the newest gear coming out for snowboarding or photography and every other aspect of those two topics. I consider myself a very avid snowboarder, but people can't believe it when I tell them I don't know jack shit when they come to me asking for advice on what type of gear to get.

As far as Brazilian jiu jitsu goes, this is probably the worst thing to talk about with friends. When people ask me about it and hear "jiu jitsu," they associate what I do with some hokey karate or tae kwon do crap and start telling me how they know someone who's a black belt in said arts, or how their kid is participating in said arts. "It's like wrestling" is the closest thing that gives them that "aha!" moment, so that's what I usually say.

It's not any easier even if people have an inkling of what Brazilian jiu jitsu is. I always get cracks from friends like "Oh don't mess with Alvin! He knows Brazilian Jiu jitsu!" as if I walk around trying to beat people up all day. Then every now and then if I happen to talk smack, someone will say something like "Oh so just because you take Brazilian Jiu jitsu now, you think you're a tough guy?" as if they didn't know me before I got into this. Nothing has changed about the way I interact with my friends, yet now all of a sudden I'm the guy who thinks he's a tough guy because he trains. And of course there are the ones who ask me if I think I can "take on" so and so. I'm not sure what their motivation is for asking questions like these, but it gets annoying. I mean really, why does it matter?

So I've come to the conclusion that hobbies are not meant to be discussed. They're activities that require participation, not discussion. Even when a friend expresses interest in something that I do and wants to do it himself, after I give them a little bit of background I'll always follow up by telling them to go and try it out firsthand.