Semi-Charmed Life

4Feb/103

Does It Matter What They Think?

Have you ever stopped to consider how people view you and what they think of you?

I am a big believer that it does not matter what people think of you, and that as long as you're comfortable with your actions and yourself then you're good to go. It rarely crosses my mind to wonder what people will think of me if I'm doing this or not doing that.

But I think it's naive to think that it perception does not matter, but not for the reasons you're probably thinking.

Sometimes other people are better able to criticize any flaws and weaknesses in you, and it's good to hear it every now and then so that you can address any problems with yourself that you might not be able to see on your own. If a friend came to me and told me in total honesty something I did not want to hear, I would respect that and at least stop to consider if anything he or she said had merit to it.

I feel like a lot of times people are told things by other people, things which they don't want to hear, and dismiss it self-righteously. They think they are being strong willed or independent or some other benevolent self-noble adjective. It's true, you can't always listen to other people and for the most part you have to follow your heart and do what you feel is right. I think the key though, is to know when to dismiss what other people say and when not to.

Anyway, this popped into my head this morning because for some reason I have the urge to ask my friends what they think of me, but I didn't want to appear insecure because I'm really not. If you think about it, it's a very odd question to ask someone. But if there's something I can work on that people think negatively about, I want to know about it. Maybe I'm a selfish prick sometimes, or maybe I'm cheap as hell other times. Or maybe I'm too insensitive and say fucked up things at inappropriate times. These are the things I'd like to know, and I wouldn't mind in the least if a friend were to tell me that.

*edit

On a related note, just read an interesting post by Mark Cuban. If you're not familiar with his blog, go check him out. Lots of big ideas, and if you're the entrepreneurial type or just enjoy reading about different takes on things such as business or internet trends, you might find his blog enjoyable.

Here's an excerpt from today's post that is relevant to mine:

While its fun to make a list of those who have criticized me, the criticism is incredibly valuable.  As a businessperson and one who tries to stay ahead of the technology and business curve, even when it means taking a position that is far from popular, critics serve the purpose of always “making you check your hole card” . In other words, the more a position I take gets challenged, the smarter I get on the position. So the criticism is welcome.

Why Have So Many Internet People Lost Touch With Reality?

Comments (3) Trackbacks (0)
  1. I’m a firm believer in asking for feedback about myself. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m far from being insecure, but it gives me a good idea of how people think and react to me. I think in order for people to have homogeneous and harmonious relationships, open communication is key. Open communication means that anyone can call me out on something and vice versa. Without that kind of honesty, it’s hard to quell misunderstandings and establish truth.

    -ray lee

  2. jigg how often does it happen where you go “hmm this person may have a point . . . “?

  3. Surprisingly, pretty often, but just because someone has a point doesn’t mean that their point super-exceeds my own thoughts. Sometimes, I have a reason for why I do something and just because their criticism makes sense, it doesn’t make my reasons wrong either. You just have to be consistent and stick with your own values. It’s actually inconsistency in the way we do things that often causes the biggest problems.

    -ray lee


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