Semi-Charmed Life

14Jul/102

A Rant and Then Some

I am so fucking pissed right now. My mom made a completely emotional and irrational decision this weekend which will undoubtedly lead to a large financial loss on our end. She justified everything by saying that it will all work out in the end because she went to kau cim and the fortune said that it would all work out. My blood started to boil when I heard that. No mom, Guanyin will not be able to help.

I'm mad because most of the time, the burden falls upon me to make things right again. I have two brothers who are apathetic about family affairs and would rather spend their time and energy on their friends than contribute to the family. One of them is a little more responsible than the other, but for the most part they don't pay any mind to what goes on in the family.

What I'm most mad about is how insanely irrational my mom is becoming. It seems like everyday her paranoia grows more and more. There is always somebody out to get us. When bad things happen, it's because bad people made it happen.

Her paranoia coupled with her extreme devotion to Buddhist beliefs and traditions is a BAD combination.

At times it feels as if family acts as an anchor in my life, holding me down and keeping me from going forward. I don't expect people to relate to this, but it's a shame that my own brothers probably don't even relate to this. They're too busy having a good time.

But it's all okay now because I just watched this video for the third time:

Undercover Karaoke with Jewel from Jewel
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  1. “It seems like everyday her paranoia grows more and more. There is always somebody out to get us.” I totally relate…that is a description of my mom right there. She has also done something similar…got suckered into making a financial decision that cost us thousands even though the whole time I was telling her she was being taken for a ride. (Mine doesn’t justify it…she just refers to the fact that she is older and the mom and i’m the kid and what do i know?) I’ve def referred to mine as an anchor in my life too. Wait until she gets a little older…a little deaf and a little more forgetful…. you’ll feel your blood pressure rising a lot more often…

  2. i feel ya kt . . .


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