Semi-Charmed Life


Locker Room Etiquette

I don't know what the hell goes on in the women's locker room (although I am curious), but I thought this was hilariously accurate:

I think we can all agree that there are various unwritten rules of deportment involved in changing in a locker room when full nudity is required. Yet, for whatever reason, the more time that gravity has had to ravage these mens’ bodies, the more likely they are to be on display at any given moment.

To be clear, I’m not singling out older people for dressing or undressing more slowly than their younger brethren. That’s to be expected. What I’m talking about is the age-related tendency to add or remove clothing in a completely illogical order while randomly engaging in nudity-extending activities during the changing process. Everybody knows that the number one rule of underwear etiquette in a locker room setting is L.O.F.O. — as in Last Off, First On. In practice, this means that, if you need to shower, your underwear should be the very last piece of clothing you remove before wrapping a towel around your waste and schlepping off to the stalls. Then, upon your return, your underwear should be the very first piece of clothing you put on before proceeding with the rest of your outfit.

It’s excruciatingly straightforward and no more difficult than any other changing order (and, indeed, simpler/more useful than many — unless you’re Quail Man, of course). Yet for some reason, this stunnginly logical progression becomes an irreconciliable calculus for many gents in their sixth decade and beyond.

Read the rest of the entry here.

You can read some of the backlash in the comments section. This one (or these two, rather) cracked me up:

I was born in 1942. I’m a veteran of the American army, a Prince of Rome, a master musician, and a Taoist adept. If you have the privilege of seeing me naked, you should get down and kiss the ground, and thank your lucky stars that you’ve seen at least one superior man in your life.

Reply to above comment:

Stay thirsty, my friends!

hahahahahaha I'm a sucker for Most Interesting Man in the World references.

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Breakfast Food for Thought

I joked around in an earlier entry about vampires being emotionally retarded, but I thought about it some more and perhaps I've hit on something. Maybe the only reason why humans grow and mature as people is because of our mortality, and if dying no longer becomes an issue then that would throw off our entire maturing process.

Perhaps "growing up" then, is not really a function of age, but rather a function of how long you've been on this earth relative to how much time you have left. The concept of age is meaningless if you never grow old and never have to die. It just becomes another number.

This is how an 80 year old human can be wiser than a 500 year old vampire who never ages past 17.

Or, and I wish there was some way to test this theory, perhaps we mature emotionally as a function of how our bodies look and feel. What if we were to still remain mortal and die at 70 or whatever the average age is that people die at, but look and feel 18 all the way until death. How would that change us? I'm genuinely curious, but there's no way to know the answer so all I can do is speculate.

And that's my Tuesday morning food for thought.

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Black Friday

Human beings disgusting me sometimes. How can the very same people who are thankful for all these warm and fuzzy things like health and life and love on Thanksgiving day turn into a bunch of fucking savages the very next day? Stop and take a look at what your materialism is turning you into.

In an incident the police are referring to as "competitive shopping," a woman at a Walmart store in California's San Fernando Valley stands accused of attacking her fellow shoppers with pepper spray during last night's Black Friday door-buster thingamajig.

"I heard screaming and I heard yelling," one shopper tells the L.A. Times. "Moments later, my throat stung. I was coughing really bad and watering up."

He says that, within minutes of Walmart announcing that the Black Friday deals had begun, the display in the video game section had been torn down by shoppers and store staffers were trying to hold back the throng of customers while attempting to salvage merchandise.

"People started screaming, pulling and pushing each other, and then the whole area filled up with pepper spray," another shopper recalls. "I guess what triggered it was people started pulling the plastic off the pallets and then shoving and bombarding the display of games. It started with people pushing and screaming because they were getting shoved onto the boxes."

In all, reports the Times, 20 customers were injured by the pepper spray attack.

"This was customer-versus-customer 'shopping rage,'" said an LAPD lieutenant, adding that the woman, who has not yet been identified, apparently used her pepper spray in more than one part of the store. "She was competitive shopping."

"Competitive Shopper" Pepper Sprays Fellow Black Friday Shoppers At California Walmart

Come on people, it's NOT THAT SERIOUS.

Joe Rogan dropping knowledge:

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What Color Are Your Lenses?

Futility Closet


Happy Thanksgiving! – 2011 Edition

Happy Thanksgiving everybody :)

I am thankful for my health. We don't often stop to think just how fragile we are as humans. Life and health can be taken away from you in an instant. As a person that tries to train 3-5 days a week, I am so thankful that I am blessed with the health and ability to allow me to pursue that type of lifestyle.

I am thankful for the health of my friends and family. It is never a good time when loved ones become ill. When loved ones suffer, it becomes your suffering as well.

I am thankful that I am alive. Every moment on earth is a chance to create an experience.

I am thankful for jiu jitsu. It has given me a certain type of structure and order to my life. Jiu jitsu is a personal journey that revolves around progress and cultivating yourself to be the best you can be. Jiu jitsu teaches humility. It is hard to have an ego when you constantly have these better and more experienced training partners who just demolish you day after day. But as you grow over the years, you can see the improvement in your game, and at points you start falling into the role of a teacher. It's a great feeling to have somebody ask me what move I just pulled off on them. I love sharing whatever little knowledge I have acquired in these past 3 and half years. It's such a fulfilling experience because the more I train, the more I realize just how LITTLE I know. Jiu jitsu is a lifelong journey and there is ALWAYS something new to learn because there will always be someone out there who is better than you who will have something to show you.

I am thankful for the human experience. I never want to lose my sense of wonder and this awe and appreciation of life.

And that's it.

The common theme I've been seeing is that people are just thankful for health, friends and family. And really, that is ALL WE NEED. Material possessions just are not in the equation.

I am not thankful, however, for the two FAT pimples on my nose. I am also not thankful for having to go in to work tomorrow.

Anyway, hope everyone had a grand old time today!

Cheers :)