What was once intended as a simple profile on a website is now my online identity. In the beginning I only had intentions of friending only you know . . . my real friends. But then you meet people a few times and it might merit a friending. Then before you know it you start making these rules for yourself like "I will only friend people I've met in person" because suddenly you find yourself becoming friends with everyone you come across in your life.

And it all becomes so overwhelming, because now every time I share something out there I need to weigh all these things out in my head. You just can't share everything in your life to a general audience.

It would have helped if G+ didn't SUCK. Hell I don't even know why it sucks. But it just does. Facebook is just better, and believe me I don't enjoy typing that.

These Facebook Creeps have gotten way better at quietly infiltrating our lives without us making much of a fuss about it. For starters, I clearly remember most people hating the timeline at its inception. Then again, people just hate change in general, even if its good change, so this might not be a great example.

But what I thought was ingenious was how they slowly rolled it out. They always had a warning up top, that let you know that timeline is coming homie, whether you like it or not. And they offered a convenient little button that allowed you to voluntarily switch before they forced it on you.

The combination of a warning and a slow rollout effectively killed the mass upheaval that happened the last few times Facebook dropped some drastic changes on us. Not that all the moaning and groaning did jack, but it was still negative press.

Facebook also beats out some of the forums I am on. I can't stand browsing certain forums anymore because of the constant trolling and stupid arguments and the same tired threads over and over. It doesn't happen as often in the FB groups I'm in because although everyone is behind a computer, their identity is out there (for the most part), so people are a little less inclined to act like complete douchebags. Groups are a relatively new thing, but once they grow a little more and become more established, that will be another reason why people will continue using Facebook.

It's also pretty interesting how companies or celebrities have now been using Facebook as a means of interacting with the fans. The engagement level is surprising, and I think it's definitely a win for both the fans and the company or celebrity (and I'm using that word loosely).

I know there are a whole bunch of privacy issues with Facebook, but hey, the votes are in and it looks like the world does not care. We want to be connected to Facebook. Having Facebook is like having the internet. When somebody, especially those near my age or younger, says they don't have Facebook I'm always a little surprised.

And they bought Instagram! I don't know what this means to me or to the world, but everybody seems to really care. So I felt the need for an exclamation point there.

I have no idea where I was going with this. I wanted to stomp on Facebook for being super creepy but I have to give props to them for how smooth they are with their creepiness. Sneaking their little tendrils into our lives little by little.

Is Everyone Entitled to Their Opinion?

Perhaps, but that doesn't mean we need to pay the slightest bit of attention.

There are two things that disqualify someone from being listened to:

1. Lack of Standing. If you are not a customer, a stakeholder or someone with significant leverage in spreading the word, we will ignore you. And we should.

When you walk up to an artist and tell her you don't like her painting style, you should probably be ignored. If you've never purchased expensive original art, don't own a gallery and don't write an influential column in ArtNews, then by all means, you must be ignored.

If you're working in Accounts Payable and you hate the company's new logo, the people who created it should and must ignore your opinion. It just doesn't matter to anyone but you.

I'm being deliberately harsh here for a reason. If we're going to do great work, it means that some people aren't going to like it. And if the people who don't like it don't have an impact on what happens to the work after it's complete, the only recourse of someone doing great work is to ignore their opinion.

2. No Credibility. An opinion needs to be based on experience and expertise. I know you don't like cilantro, but whether or not you like it is not extensible to the population at large. On the other hand, if you have a track record of matching the taste sensibility of my target market, then I very much want to hear what you think.

People with a history of bad judgment, people who are quick to jump to conclusions or believe in unicorns or who have limited experience in the market--these people are entitled to opinions, but it's not clear that the creator of the work needs to hear them. They've disqualified themselves because the method they use for forming opinions about how the market will respond is suspect. The scientific method works, and if you're willing to suspend it at will and just go with your angry gut, we don't need to hear from you.

If these two standards sound like precisely the opposite of what gets you on talk radio or active in anonymous chat rooms, you're right. Running your business or your campaign or your non-profit or your sports team based on what you hear on talk radio is nuts.

Amen.

People who think their opinions always matter drive me crazy. The right to free speech does not mean it's okay to annoy people with it.

- I need more days like Saturday where I have absolutely nothing planned. Having plans to make the most out of your day is a great thing, but I realized there wasn't any balance in my life. I tried to pack all my weekends with activities that I forgot what it felt like to enjoy something as simple as watching television in my own living room on a random Saturday afternoon.

- "You know what you have to do." I think every person, deep down inside always knows what they have to do in every situation. Whatever problems you have in your life, you KNOW what you have to do to correct it. Whether you choose to listen to that little voice of reason inside of you is up to you.

- This is going to sound like major cheese, but The Beatles were right: All you need is love. Okay maybe that's not ALL you need, but damnit the world sure could use a lot more of it. We all want to love, to be loved, to be heard and to be understood. Everyday I will make an effort to try and be the best friggin human I can be, keeping these things in mind.

I have some more random thoughts, but it's time to get back on track and hit the damn gym. Off I go.

One week ago, nonprofit group Invisible Children started a firestorm on the Internet with its Kony 2012 video. At first glance, the 30-minute film seemed innocuous, a passionate plea to get the world interested in the plight of Ugandans and other Africans forced to confront the murderous rebel leader Joseph Kony. But soon the backlash began. And then came the backlash against the backlash, which later led to backlash against the backlash against the backlash.

Completely agree:

When it comes to the Kony film, it's unlikely society will reach a consensus about it anytime soon, and with good reason: It's extraordinarily hard to unpack. Does the film distill a complex problem with centuries of backstory into a simplistic soundbite? Yes. But it has also illuminated tens of millions of people to an issue they didn't know existed before. And it has thrust the plight of central Africa into popular culture, leading everyone from the Guardian to TMZ to Oprah to have thoughtful conversations about child soldiers and charitable giving to Africa. I'm not sure anyone believes Kony 2012 is perfect, but it doesn't seem wise to toss it on the scrap heap, either. Whether or not you like it, at least it serves as a reminder that the world is messy and hard to organize. The best any of us can do is keep reading, keep talking to each other, keep trying to do the right thing, and keep hoping that there's more than one way to destroy a warlord.

Link

Friend: I don't think you're going to do it.

J: Yeah . . . you're right. You know me and my committment issues.

(A few of us shake our heads)

V (J's gf): *ahem* Your girlfriend is sitting right here.

Me: J, you are the worst.

I went with Tumblr because of its simplicity and its ease of use. I can update my tumblr through my instagram app and I have my phone on me 99% of the time.

Check it out here:

http://boastreefsandwich.tumblr.com

It'll just mostly be pictures with some captions. I'm going to try and stay away from reblogging material, but we'll see how that goes.

I really need to find some time to lift weights again. I haven't lifted for quite some time and I can feel the difference. I don't feel as strong when I'm training jiu jitsu and I have lost a few pounds since I've stopped lifting. I also haven't been swimming in a while either. I've just been slacking overall.

Let's also add cooking and cleaning to the list of things that I've been neglecting. Typically, I do all my grocery shopping on the weekends, so whenever I'm busy the entire weekend and am not able to get around to that, I don't cook. Eating out every meal these past few weeks has been expensive and unsatisfying. My apartment is a mess and I am behind on my laundry too, which I also only do on weekends when I'm able to set aside 2 hours.

It always seems like there is never enough time to do everything I have to do or want to do.

I need to set some time aside to collect myself and get my shit together.

Kelly Clarkson, tell me what to do!

What do you think is an acceptable level of noise in your apartment on a Saturday night? We had some friends come over Saturday night to have a few beers and play Cranium. Some music playing from my room. I believe around 11 my upstairs neighbor came downstairs and said we were being too loud, and that he had to wake up early.

I lowered the music and throughout the night we tried to contain our voices as much as we could. But I mean, it's a Saturday night, we're drinking beer, and we are freaking playing Cranium. We're not going to be whispering the entire time playing Cranium.

Some time later, possibly a little after midnight, they forego the whole coming downstairs and knocking on our door thing and just start stomping on the floor.

This time I was annoyed. I thought we were at an acceptable indoor volume level. It's a Saturday night. This is our apartment. Nobody's dancing. No music is being played at this point. We all were talking at what I thought was a reasonable level.

So at this point, should I have acquiesced to their demands that we shut down the whole operation? Kick everyone out and call it a night? We tried to finish our last game quickly, but the fun was already beginning to fade. Being sucked out by the boring fuddy duddys that live upstairs who started to stomp on the floor intermittently.

Even by the time everybody left, a little after 2am, when it was just my roommates and I talking they yet AGAIN gave a few emphatic foot stomps. At what point is it on them to just accept that it's the fault of house that we live in? This is probably the first time we've had a gathering at our apartment, so it's not a regular thing.

The worst part is now somebody is being a little passive aggressively vindictive by slamming all their doors and stomping really hard on the floor when they walk. They can do that all day because personally it doesn't bother me. I find it pretty amusing that people can be so passive aggressive.

Okay I lied in my beginning paragraph. This took longer to write than I expected, as I was plagued with pangs of ADD attacks and jumped from website to website browsing.

And I'm tired.
GOOD NIGHT!

“When you win, you don't examine it very much, except to congratulate yourself. You easily, and wrongly, assume it has something to do with your rare qualities as a person. But winning only measures how hard you've worked and how physically... talented you are; it doesn't particularly define you beyond those characteristics.

Losing on the other hand, really does say something about who you are. Among other things it measures are: do you blame others, or do you own the loss? Do you analyze your failure, or just complain about bad luck?

If you're willing to examine failure, and to look not just at your outward physical performance, but your internal workings, too, losing can be valuable. How you behave in those moments can perhaps be more self-defining than inning could ever be. Sometimes losing shows you for who you really are.”
― Lance Armstrong

I competed in another tournament on Saturday and lost the match 0-0, 2 advantages to 1. After a brief attempt at competing for grips while standing, I decided to pull guard because I did not feel confident in a standing exchange for a takedown. Poor execution led me to land in half guard instead, which is not a position I am very offensive in. I was able to maintain my underhook and prevent him from passing. I was able to eventually slide into deep half guard, which is a position I'm much more more comfortable in. I worked for a sweep and ALMOST slipped out the backdoor to take his back but I made a costly mistake by not keeping a hook on his leg, which allowed him to swing it around and recompose himself. I got no points but 1 advantage point for that.

He ends up going for a knee cut pass and I try to stave it off in a reverse de la riva position. I was trying to work for an inverted sweep to back take but was never able to invert myself properly. I'm not sure if it was because he was too low or if it was some other technical error on my part. He ends up freeing his leg from my hook and almost passed my guard but he was never able to fully establish control of me for 3 seconds. 1 advantage for him.

I scrambled to a turtle position and he nearly takes my back but he goes too high up and I slipped out the back door when time runs out. He does not get points for taking my back but he gets the advantage for the near attempt.

I'm disappointed in myself because it definitely felt like a match that I had the ability to win. Losing is NEVER a good feeling, especially in a contest solely between two individuals in a sport where the core principle is to physically dominate your opponent. After losing, I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody. I don't want to hear good job or anything like that. I just want to sit alone for a bit and let the feeling pass.

There are a few positive takeaways though.

My nerves are affecting me less now. The first three tournaments I competed in, the entire match is like a blur to me. The adrenaline also got me to tense up way too much and my body overall felt like it was stiff and unresponsive. In this match I felt like my faculties were there and I felt pretty loose. I was not very nervous going into it, and when the adrenaline kicked in when I stepped on the mat my mind felt like it was still clear.

The footage that of my matches is incredibly valuable. I love being able to see what I did wrong or what I could have done differently at any point in the match. I have a handful of things I'm now meaning to work on for the next few weeks.

People that know me well know that I am not a competitive person by nature. I am not driven by the will to win. I wish I was, but I just do not have that cut throat competitive edge. I am driven by the desire to learn. I don't enjoy  competing, but I see it as an incredibly useful too to improve my jiu jitsu. If you have made this far then you deserve to see my losing match if you're curious.

Even though I haven't been having much tournament success, it's nice to see that I am actually learning from my experiences. I felt pretty good about last night's training session, despite taking an errant knee to the mouth and getting a fat lip.

Anyway, I've been playing this dubstep jam all morning:

This one too!

Mishal Moore - It Ain't Over (Document One Remix)