Semi-Charmed Life

14Nov/112

Vampire Rant Addendum

Correction from my last post: the main vampire creep in Vampire Diaries is not 140 years old. He is 162 years old. I'm not sure whether he is a huge creep or the world's biggest stud.

You know what else is creepy about vampires?

Standing over girls who are sleeping in their beds at home and caressing their faces is NOT okay. I'm positive girls think this is the sweetest most romantic thing ever.

What makes the vampires in Vampire Diaries ultra creeps is their ability to "compel" humans. They can look into a human's eyes and make them believe whatever they want. And you better bet these vampires know all about abusing the hell out of this ability.

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12Nov/115

Vampires are F$^# CREEPS

So I've been watching Vampire Diaries recently and these are a bunch of random thoughts I have on vampires:

How fucking creepy are vampires? Those are the creepiest of the creepiest motherfuckers out there and they have totally succeeded in making vampires appealing to females. Think about what a creepy concept this is. You have this vampire who is 140+ years old going to high school in 2009 and trying to score with a high school girl. Buddy I know you are a fine male specimen and all but dude you 140+ years old.

But then again vampires stay young forever and are probably virile as fuck and there aren't exactly any chicks their age chilling around. That's the sad thing about age. Women, to most people, are probably most attractive when they're young and as dudes start getting old, they think why not just get at a young chick instead of all the old geezers your own age.

Women don't get that same benefit of dating down in age drastically, so society has royally fucked women by deeming it a little "weird." I mean did anyone think it was at least a LITTLE weird that Ashton Kutcher was going out with Demi Moore? I mean yea you're still hot for your age, but Ashton Kutcher at one point completely closed his gates to a whole world of hungry for sex women. Do you have any idea how much a guy like Ashton Kutcher would destroy if he went to a place like a night club? And he gave all that up for a woman that's almost 50.

Moral of the story, if you have the option to date young, date young. And these vampires have it MADE. They walk around looking all 17 forever, and in Vampire Diaries they wear these rings that allow them to be in sunlight. OMG what a bunch of cheaters. H4X!

Anyway, some things about Vampire Diaries (tempted to say VD but it's weird saying VD this VD that):

What is UP with this supposed super hearing they have? Do they have to concentrate to hear super well or is it on all the time? Sometimes in the show I'm like DUDE you could have totally avoided that if your super hearing heard it coming at the time.

Also, while it's probably ridiculously awesome for him to stay 17 forever and blessed with model looks and a ripped body, how is it not annoying as hell to try and go out with a 16 or 17 or whatever year old girl? I mean do you NOT age in maturity or something. How the hell are you holding intellectual conversations with a girl in high school? And on the OFF CHANCE that a high school girl happens to be reading this, I am not saying you are an idiot but you and a 140 year old dude will have different maturity levels. Does being a vampire retard their maturity levels or something?

The brooding vampire thing is annoying the hell out of me. Stefan has this emo look about him and always speaks in that brooding way. I get it you tortured soul!

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20Apr/100

The Best TV Show You’ve Never Seen

 

I've been raving about this show ever since I got through the third season. The first season was great, the second season was meh, but starting from the third season is really when the show starts to blow your mind.

There is so much depth to this show that it makes everything else on television look like complete crap. This show is a masterfully crafted piece of art. I've never held any movie or tv show in such high esteem. I don't think I can do this show justice by attempting to review it, so here's a customer review from Amazon that sums up pretty neatly what I think is so great about this show:

On the basis of previous reviews, you'd never know that this series was on the verge of being cancelled at least twice, that it never made satisfactory numbers for HBO, or that it was almost universally ignored by award committees despite it's fervid following.

There's a number of things for the faint-hearted or first time viewers to know about The Wire before you jump in:

1. There is no denouement, no simple, clear resolution at the end of every episode ala CSI, NCIS, or any other typical police drama. On the contrary, The Wire is the epitome of the "slow build", it takes episodes to get started, much less finished. As in life, there are rarely any easy, clear resolutions at the end. Unlike the black and white worlds of network tv, The Wire is all gray.

2. There is not a simple, single story line. Rather The Wire is characterized by complex, multiple story arcs that can extend over more than one season. It demands (and rewards) concentration, rather than escape. Redemption and revenge are possible, but not in one episode or one season. The Wire requires patience.

3. There are no clear cut heroes and villains (this is the anti-"Heroes" tv show.) There are only human beings, all flawed. McNulty, a hero, is an alcoholic who cheats on his wife. Even Marlowe, the apparently soulless villain, grapples with very human issues of loyalty and pride.

4. Though there are great, fully realized characters (almost too many for escapist viewers to follow), and though to some degree Baltimore, the city, is a central character, the abiding presences in The Wire are Baltimore's institutions and organizations: courts, city government, educational system, labor unions, police, newspapers. Even gangs are seen as just another organization. Unlike any other show I've ever seen, The Wire demonstrates how institutions are built from a complex web of relationships and motivations and seem to have an existence independent of those who participate in them. And it does so in such a subtle way that it's not automatically obvious. It doesn't appear to be about institutions, but it is. That's subtlety.

That's only a start. There's more that makes The Wire a challenge for viewers: it's non-linearity (it's more like a spiral), it's bleak view of cities and urban institutions; the seeming randomness of so many events that impact lives, etc., etc., etc.

All that said, The Wire, for those willing to make the investment of time and attention, is a transcendent, moving experience. However downbeat it's subject matter, it is, in the end, a true work of art, a masterwork, and as such ultimately enobling and uplifting. And just a thrill to watch.

This show initially requires some patience. The payoff is big though. There's a lot of thought provoking social commentary in this series. I mean, it's even Harvard-approved course material!

Seriously though. Check out the show. This isn't just television. This is art.

 

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19Jan/096

The Unpopularity of Scifi

It's unfortunate that the scifi genre of movies and television is so often maligned and unappreciated by the general public. I can somewhat see why. I don't consider myself a scifi fan. Scifi shows and movies don't really come off as appealing to me, and often times I get the impression that it's either too complicated to watch or too cheesy to believe. Those biases are the reason why it took me so long to pick up on good television shows.

My scifi resume isn't that impressive.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

tng1

This was one of the shows I grew up on. I don't consider myself a diehard fan, but it was a show I watched whenever it was on and I've seen a lot of damn episodes. People who have never seen TNG are really missing out. Very rich show with some very good stories.

Star Trek Voyager

voyager

Another very good Star Trek series. I was never much into any of the other Star Trek series except for TNG and Voyager.

Stargate: SG-1

sg11

I wouldn't even call myself a fan of the show because it would sully the fanhood of a true fan of the show, but this is something I watch every now and then when it airs late night. The plot is usually pretty interesting, and I like Richard Dean Anderson.

Battlestar Galactica

bsg

I thought this show was the geekiest show ever for the longest because of the name of the series. I'm glad I gave it a shot because even though I thought some of the stuff in the first few episodes were corny (frack!?), the plot is very epic and the characters really grow on you. And yes, even the word frack becomes tolerable. Awesome show. I have to catch up on the last season though. I'm hoping they tie up all the loose ends.

Firefly

firefly

This is the show I'm currently working on now. Another show that I'm glad I gave a chance to. This show was axed after only airing 11 out of 14 episodes, which is an atrocity considering how good the show is. It's a shame when there is a good show out there that is not well received by the mass audience. This has been the case with 30 Rock, Friday Night Lights and Arrested Development, along with other good shows which either end up being canned or teeter on the edge of cancellation every season. I'm on episode 9 of 14 already, and I'm already feeling sad that there will be no season 2 to look forward to, although I'll have Serenity (a full length movie based on the show was made because the Firefly dvd was well received). Fox apparently butchered Firefly by airing the episodes out of its intended order, which made Joss Whedon vow to never work with them again. His new show "Dollhouse" will be airing on Fox, but he has said that "These are different people [...] they didn't do to me what was done to Firefly."

And here's David Cross and his take on why Arrested Development got canned:

Anyway, going back to my original point . . . don't know if I really made it, but it's that there is an unjust negative bias towards scifi by the mass audience, and people should try to overcome that and give scifi a chance. If they give it a shot, they'll realize that there's some really good writing out there, and that some really good shows don't have to end up being canceled.